Feeling confident around food is easy when you have good food boundaries. Do you know what a healthy food boundary is? Do you implement healthy boundaries in your life with food?
A healthy food boundary is where you express/communicate/assert your needs (your words and behaviours) around food that make you happy, meet your needs and that are healthy!
But you have to know what a healthy food boundary is! Because when you implement them your energy, confidence and vibe will lift. You will feel clear, focused on and on track no matter what is going on around you. In fact this powerful mindset shift is what I help my private clients make in my 1 on 1 six week intensive coaching programme.
So with the holiday season upon us – I will share with you now how to respond when your food boundaries are be tested by pushy people. I will give you 3 powerful scripts you can put to use so you can say no with love and anchor yourself.
Tell me about pushy food people….
A food pusher is someone (friend, associate, colleague, family member or relative) who has a ‘pushy’ energy with food that you feel in their presence. You feel forced to eat something – you feel a sense of obligation to please them! That their choice is now your choice as if you are incapable of having your own voice or making your own food choices. It feels like you are trying to be controlled! Why does this flout your boundaries? Because instead of asking you kindly what you would feel like and making a polite offer – they make it all about them and they repeat repeat and repeat that you ‘should’ do something!
You may not even realise it’s happening and find yourself thinking “the problem is, I’m not in control of my food” – when in fact you may be suffering with disempowered energy around social situations with food. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter where you are or what situation or circumstance you’re in. You are 100% responsible for your food choice and decision to eat or not to eat. You don’t have to be ‘perfect’ (whatever perfect is) – you just need to be happy and know how your decisions will affect your goals.
How do I set healthy boundaries?
Step 1: first you need to be aware that this is happening! Observe your body feelings and be confident in your ability to recognise you are being pushed and it’s not just a moment where the present is triggering a past experience.
Step 2: once you are aware you are being pushed and this doesn’t feel healthy – you relax and take a deep breath and you respond with love. (see scenarios below).
Why do I find it so hard?
It will feel difficult and nerve wracking at first as you haven’t develop the confidence in yourself. You don’t know how the other person will respond and that is scary. This also has to do with your past conditioning around food. Let me explain:
-where told to be a good girl/boy?
-that you should please others?
-do what you are told?
-be respectful to your elders?
-be agreeable – don’t rock the boat?
-you’re rude if you say no
-were you forced fed as a child?
All of these beliefs can greatly influence you ability to confidently handle yourself in these situations as you may feel you’re doing something wrong. But here’s your golden nugget: You are not a helpful child – so don’t act from that place.
Success is about a shift in perspective!
You are not obligated to do what others tell you if you don’t want to. This is not about the pushy person it is about your self trust and your ability to speak up in that moment and communicate your needs. You cannot control what someone else does (and it’s not your business to do so) – it’s your business to feel the anxiety and discomfort but to stay present in that moment and firmly express your truth with love! Know that the other person will experience a feeling response when you state your boundary as they may be someone who feels their sense of self worth is linked to whether or not others do what they say around food – but trust in yourself that your communication is healthy and it’s up to that person whether they want to behave in a healthy respectful way or not! Empowerment tip: security does not come from controlling others to do what we want – it comes from the inside of us – so feel love for them and choose to put your needs first in a healthy way – healthy people respect you for it 🙂
#1: I made this specially for you
They say: “I made this specially for you – I know you’ll love it – go on have some more”!
You say: “that’s so sweet of you” – SMILE – “I don’t feel like some right now….maybe later” or “hmmm maybe I can take some home with me to try when I feel like it” or “I’ve already had some – and it was delicious!”
#2: It’s the holidays!
They say: “go on – live a little, it’s the holidays for crying out loud – one piece won’t hurt you – you shouldn’t be so strict!”
You say: “wow! I feel it’s really important to you that I have some – I’m not feeling hungry right now – no thank you” 🙂
#3: Guilt trip – you’ve ruined everything!
They say: “you’re a real party pooper! Why do you have to be like this and ruin everything”!
You say: “I’m full thank you! ….or if they need putting in their place – “surely your happiness is not dependant on whether or not I eat this – is it? I’m feeling quite full thank you” 🙂
Bottom line ✅
–No can be a complete sentence – so these lines are courteous and coming from a place of love and respect.
Does this blog help you? Ask yourself this question: Do I feel anxiety around people and food? Because gaining confidence in this area will really sky rocket you to the health results you want.
Where to from here?
-sign up to my VIP email list (it’s free) and get weekly free inspiration, tips and advice [sign up here]
–watch this free training video
-if you feel ready to buy and would help with your mindset – take a look at my Weight Loss Mindset Audio Training Programme – Re-Train your Brain – [click here]
Katie Charlton – Health Mindset & Nutrition Coach
Katie is 43 years old, British born New Zealander with a passion to help career and family passionate adults get permanent weight loss results. She works one to one over 6 weeks in her results coaching programme.
Katie helps her clients to:
-stop yo yo
-heal self sabotage and binge eating
-improve your eating habits and relationship with food
-feel better energy, speed up your metabolism, reduce weight/body fat
To book your free call – email: firstname.lastname@example.org