I used to be so controlled around food so I could appear this slim.
My weight hovered around 67kg and I strictly kept it there. When I had periods of stress e.g. divorce, I went down to 62kg, so thin for my height (1.80m). But it gave me some kind of feeling of power.
Can you relate?
But I actually wasn’t powerful at all – sorry ego!
It’s wrong that so many women use food and their weight to feel more in control of their lives – when in fact – the only thing we can control are our own thoughts, feelings and actions.
I didn’t have a relationship with inner Katie – it was all about hyper controlling something else – like my food and my weight! Talk about wounded masculine energy. [I say this with a huge amount of love and self compassion].
Having Max changed everything for me.
I gained 24kg. I was put in hospital to be induced as I was 43 years old, my first pregnancy and he was over 2 weeks late. I was beyond terrified of giving birth in hospital.
I was put on 60 ml/hr of Oxytocin for hours and hours, hooked up to a drip to get that 4.5kg boy out of me.
I’ve been told by my 2 midwives who were present at the labour that most women would be having epidurals with that amount of oxytocin (and believe me I battled with a nasty voice telling me to do so) but I ignored it and remained calm, surrendered and focused.
I did the entire labour with zero pain relief.
The both said – how powerful and amazing I was.
But it didn’t happen by accident – I’m no different to any other women giving birth – but I did the inner work and I decided once and for all that I would find my own natural power within and I would choose LOVE.
I was journalling 2 hours before they bought me into the delivery suite to express out my fears.
I am not sharing this to boast – it’s to impress upon you that YOU ARE powerful being measure IF you choose to tap into that power within not through latching on to or trying to control something on the outside of you.
I’ve seen the time and time again over the years – women getting on weight loss on the scales/dieting ‘highs’.
You are not powerful because you drop 4kg this month or because you are doing the last fad!
You are powerful just because you are YOU – no matter what your weight is.
Choose to lose weight/fat because you love you and you want to be healthier and this comes from believing you are powerful enough to do this the health way.
I no longer control my food and my weight and my weight is happily stable at 74kg.
So if you want a healthy body with healthy levels of fat on it, then it starts with you having a healthy relationship with food and that starts with a healthy relationship with YOU.
YOU ARE POWERFUL BEYOND MEASURE.
Your body is capable of amazing things IF you remove that which is blocking you.
If you would like a chat and coffee over zoom – book here now.
All my love,